Today one of my friends, @Khalisha1981, posed this question on twitter:
Twitter Fam,how important is physical attraction in ur man/woman?
After not much thought at all I replied that looks are and will always be at the top of my list as far as a relationship. Its not rocket science so it’s not hard to understand that when a man and a woman first meet it’s usually physical attraction that beguiles them to each other. I know that looks may bring a person in and it’s the personality that makes that person stay but something has to reel that person in. After I posted my response I was called superficial and shallow. #cmonson o_0
You mean to tell me that you could be in a relationship with a person that you don’t find attractive? No matter how much you want to believe deep down inside I know you don’t believe that. I think there could only possibly be four reasons why you would in a relationship with a person that you don’t find attractive.
1. Freak Accident:
This is where personality and love would probably play the biggest role. Looks don’t last forever and I think if one person in the relationship were to suffer some kind of freak accident that left them mutilated or disfigured then at this point looks should be the least of any one’s concerns (see I’m not really that shallow?).
2. You’re just plain lying:
Most people like to be politically correct. Saying that looks matter isn’t PC so most people think it but most people don’t like to own up to it. You should mean what you say and say what you mean.
3. You’re not actually dating that person:
There are some women out there (yes you) who would date a man regardless of what he looks like because he has a certain amount of money or he has a certain status. I really don’t think this counts because that woman is not dating that man. Rather she is dating his money or his status. There are other words I could use for these type of
people women but that’s for another blog.
4. You’re not attractive yourself:
I’m calling a spade a spade. If you aren’t attractive yourself of course you’re going to say that looks don’t matter. #shots Understandably there is a HUGE difference between looks and attraction. If we find each other attractive that’s all that should matter but if NOONE else finds you attractive then that also speaks volumes. If you are offended by this point then you just might be a spade. #youmad?
My homegirl @seeomora had this to say on the subject:
If I can’t imagine u naked then I don’t want to look
I think this about sums up how I feel. So how bout it? How important are looks vs. attraction in a relationship to you? Am I really the 2009 version of Shallow Hal?