I’m Not A Player, I Just Crush A Lot

Thinking of your crush directly causes a rush in your chest and a noticeable increase in your heartbeat. The tragedy of knowing that your crush might not reciprocate your feelings fills you with despondency and hopelessness. All you can do is fantasize about your crush becoming a part of your life, of linking your experiences with theirs, of assimilating their existence into your mundane world. Having a crush is a euphoric, desperate, compulsive state of being.

I remember my first real crush. It was when I moved and started a different elementary school during the 4th grade. Her name was Dominique. I crushed on her from the fourth grade all the way until the end of middle school. In my eyes she could do no wrong. I remember how I excited I was when she found out she was coming to my 13th birthday party. Maybe it was because she was always nice to me. Or maybe it was her perfectly cut bangs. I don’t know but Ahhh the memories.

Once I entered into the brand new world of high school I was besieged by so many pretty girls. It seemed like I had a new crush every week. There were tall girls, there were short girls. There were skinny girls, there were thick girls. It was simply beautiful bliss. There were a few crushes that did stand out though. Two to be exact but I won’t put them or myself out there like that. These crushes were my friends first and foremost so I think overall I was most infatuated with their personalities. It didn’t hurt that I found them absolutely beautiful. We are actually still good friends to this day.

After I left high school I thought I was over crushes. I didn’t have not one in college. After all who has time for that type of innocent behavior in college? College is all about getting it in finding yourself right? After college it was time to grow up and infatuations were one of those things that was childish. I thought I had put it all behind me until my second year of grad school. That’s when I first met her. A couple of my friends know whom I speak of. If you look at some of my early blog posts, I believe I actually mentioned her. Too bad she had a boyfriend the entire time she was here. You best believe I let her know what was up though. lol Oh what could have been.

Do I have any crushes now? Sure do. Would they ever know? Probably not. Do you still have crushes? If you do, do/would you let that person know?

24 thoughts on “I’m Not A Player, I Just Crush A Lot

  1. Peyso

    I had a crush in college, like one of those stammering, i cant speak when she comes around crushes. This lil hispanic AKA made me goo goo ga ga when I saw her.Then like all of a sudden, it stopped.

  2. Tunde

    @Megan- lol, hilarious. @Bombchell- yeah that sucks unless you don't tell them that you like them.@Peyso- it's crazy how that can happen bruh. like you are so into a chick and the next day you're on to the next one.

  3. Milan

    Man! Crushes were like the THING growing up. When you're a kid you don't have much "business" so a crush was like something to look forward to when you wake up every day. lol. I had my share. Usually I would NEVER tell it but I had a MAJOR crush in 9th grade. Like this boy made my whole world shine brighter when he was around. I think I crushed on him for half that school year and then we finally became boyfriend and girlfriend and remained that way until Senior year. Ahh…memories. Do I have a crush now? Besides Shannon Brown of the Lakers (i'm so sincere)…hmm…I have ONE lightweight crush now. He would never ever know it though (I don't think…lol). We're friends so that's cool. =)

  4. T'arr.a

    I had a serious infatuation/crush on this young lad my last year of college. Every time I saw him, I felt an electric wave running through my body. I told his homies that I was digging him and obviously they told him. All he said to me though was "You're very pretty, funny, and interesting" I heard angels singing in the clouds for a quick sec but then the crush was over…

  5. Ms.Minx

    I'm pretty fickle with my crushes. I'll like someone for a couple days, then meh…lol. Kinda like Peyso, I guess, but never goo goo gah gah. I stay composed, and they can rarely tell, lol.I kinda have a longstanding crush, but in the 5 or 6 years I've known him, we're never in the same place long enough to actually see how it would work out. I like the mystery of it, tho :)Nice post

  6. DJ Martian Man Hunter

    Hi my name is hudson, and I chronically get crushes. Its a problem, and my cure is too read a book until I forget about it, I've learned to never to say anything about it, and If I avoid it long enough it goes away..If they would only come less frequently. I'm hoping with your experience in research, you can find a real cure for me, that will save me time & heartbreak. The hope of Hudsonkind rests in your hands..May the force be with you..Hudson the Great

  7. Tunde

    @Milan- yeah i lived for crushes growing up. since my african parents were strict they said i couldn't have a girlfriend till i was 19. really my mom said those exact words. lolshannon brown though? lol@T'arr.a- you must have wanted your crush to know how you felt because you told his friends. i know if any woman tells me she's feeling any of my friends, i'm telling him. lol i dig it though. it's like you told him but you didn't. i peep game.@Minx- yeah you are kinda fickle. and that crush that you can never get the timing right with sucks monkey balls.

  8. Tunde

    @DJ now i know you're lying. didn't i see you profess your crushness (yes i said crushness) for a particular lovely looking AKA that goes to school with us? lol

  9. Shemika S.

    Crushes can be fun but I like it when it is just that-a crush.I'd rather have my secret thoughts and heart palpitations than express my feelings and take the chance of it not being reciprocated.That sux!Cute blogs…brings back *memories*

  10. Ms. Lotus

    I haven't had a crush in a very long time.. In the past all of my crushes eventually became my boyfriends,except ONE, UNO, (1).. GRRR!! I had a HUGE crush on this guy. When he showed interest in me, I was stuck! Then he asked me that question "what are you looking for"?? After that, things pretty much went down hill. I spent too much time fantasizing, and not enough time thinking about what would happen if my fantasies became reality.

  11. Ms. Sylaneous

    awwww 'crushes' what cute lil spawns of the devil they are! LOL I don't think I ever had crushes as a kid/youngster. I think, again, I was abnormal for a girl then. This will probably sound VERY strange to a lotta folks, but I met my 'first love' at KINDERGARTEN graduation!!! He was my 'I like you do you like me check yes or no' boyfriend from first grade til about 6th grade when we became 'you can put your books in my locker and I wear your jacket' bf/gf in 6th grade. This union lasted pretty solid til sophomore year of college (whent he bastid cheated on me, proposed to another girl-who was pregnant by him WHILE we were still together!!) ANYWAY- that's another blog! LOLMy 'crushes' didn't start til college… I'm a 'crush late bloomer' so to speak. My longest crush was/is on this fella I met back in about 2003 or 2004. I didn't know his name, so I referred to him (to my friends) as 'my boyfriend'. LOL. He and I became and remain pretty darn good friends. To this day he CLAIMS he didn't 'know' that I had such a huge crush on back then, but he knew… he's just a goof ball! LOL The crazy thing is, after all this time and after all the signs, I still 'crush' on him- even when I know nothing will ever come of it… it's just fun to flirt… LOL he's my 'flirt fav' by far, and I think our frinedship is strong enough to survive the flirting and not screw things up… at least I'd hope… I wish he'd be a jerk so I can 'not like him' and it'd be okay..but NOOOO he got the nerve to be nice, and sweet and fun… HOW DARE HE- Ole stupid self! LOL (sigh)


    Eff crushes!!! Wait, that's not nice. I prefer that people crush on me, I hate having crushes. Yes it feels good, blah, blah, blah….but judgement becomes too cloudywhen the crush is over, you see that person for who they truly were.

  13. Tunde

    @Shemika: thanks. i think the worst feeling is feelings not being reciprocated. like someone ripping your heart out your chest.@Ms. Lotus: yeah i think when most people have crushes they never take the time to figure out how things would be if they actually got with them. @Ms. Sylaneous: kindergarten all the way until college. that's a long time. and that other guy sounds like a winner. ;-)@DC Diva: you sound a little jaded. care to share?

  14. Ms. Sylaneous

    HAHA… yeah he's a winner alright… and one of us is slow as molassas in the winter time because one of us isn't getting something… LOL (shrugs)… Imma say it's him cause I know what I want… he don't know how or isn't willing to receive it… LOL (sigh) I guess… MORE time will tell… so for now.. Imma crush on with my crushy self! LOL

  15. bumight

    i was going to do a blogpost about crushes! im a serial crusher! and from experience (:D) i can say that the best crushes are the ones that are totally oblivious! dont know, dont find out – cos they remain untainted by reality!first time here. might have to bookmark u!

  16. Tunde

    @Miss Davis: wish i could say the same. 1) i maybe have only told less than half my crushes how i felt about them 2) once i told them the feelings were hardly ever reciprocated. *shrug*@bumight: "i can say that the best crushes are the ones that are totally oblivious!"- this is the best because it can remain 100% innocent. πŸ™‚ yeah, stick around. i try to be as entertaining as possible.

  17. Anonymous

    I didn't think I still had crushes on guys….and weird and akward but I have a crush on a girl too. lol There's a guy I see all the time and I know for sure he never sees me. I actually introduced myself to him at a party and I bet he still doesn't know I'm alive. He's too cute, dresses nice, he's short but dammit cute! So I mentioned it to one of my friends and she said that he had low self-esteem…hmmm which means he might like me back bc I could boost his self-esteem!! LOL Is that wrong?


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