There comes a point in all our lives (if you have any sense of feeling) where we become emotionally spent. Life is busy and full of challenges, sometimes it’s easy to face them and sometimes they take their toll. These challenges can come from any and all directions but I want to focus on how relationships can drain us and the outcome of this is not always positive.
A lot of times when we are expended we just stop giving a fuck. At least I know that’s how I can get sometimes. And that’s where the title of my post comes in. If you’re asking “What pray tell is a fire sale?”, it is:
A fire sale is the sale of goods at extremely discounted prices, typically when the seller faces bankruptcy or impending distress.
Now bear with me for a second while I make the correlation between that definition and relationships. Now lets say “goods” are something you possess that under normal circumstances you would hold under high regard. This could be your emotional attachment or even your penis/vagina. Of course the “seller” would be you and “bankruptcy or impending distress” could be that no good dude who you found out slept with your sister, and cousin at the same time or it could be that chick that got ran through by the starting front court of the basketball team while she was in Miami on spring break. Either way that person caused you this emotional duress can cause you to act irrationally.
Speaking from personal experience (because clearly I don’t know how women deal with this issue) it’s easy for a man while trying to get over heartbreak to become emotionally unattainable and try to take down as many bodies as he can. Nothing reminds you that you are a man quite like having a new woman in your bed. Some may call it a rebound, but I implore any guy to not go this route. This really only provides temporary relief from the real issue at hand and prolongs the process of healing. Like so many things in life, it’s important to let the pain flow through [||], instead of trying to numb it like a shot of novocaine.
There lies controversy over who deals with emotional hardship, men or women? The answer to that doesn’t necessarily lie in the gender difference as much as who is left feeling like they were wronged. This person is usually the one feeling pained because they probably didn’t desire for whatever happened to happen. It’s supposed to hurt when you get your feelings damaged. You really don’t have to explain it or justify it to anyone but yourself. Accept that you feel pain. Sit with it and explore it. Feel all your feelings. Grief, and that is what heart break is, is cyclic. This means it will come and it will go.
So how do you get over heartbreak or emotional distress? How do you deal with it? Who do you think has a harder time dealing with it, men or women?
***Sidenote: For my Meharry or Nashville readers, I’ve been asked to sit on a panel for a relationship forum next week (10/25/10). Come through and support Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc., Miss School of Medicine and SNMA.***
***Sidenote (2): I finally remembered my login information for my tumblr account. If any of you have an account I need people to follow. Hit me up. Here’s my url: http://thenativeson.tumblr.com/ ***