No Strings Attached

Shoutout to my frat brother and schoolmate @shummy_is_loved for suggesting this topic. I was actually thinking about touching this subject based on things that I’ve read around the internets and seen first hand. Here’s his tweet:

No strings attached only works if the parties ain’t worth shit…if one/both are keepers then somebody is gonna catch feelings eventually

I know there is a lot of debate on which sex is the one who can’t handle a No Strings Attached (NSA) relationship. Of course being a man I want to say that its women but I know better. I know dudes that have gotten caught up thinking they were just kicking it and ended up catching some for real feelings. So if you want to turn it into a debate go right ahead but I’m going to tackle the issue that @i_am_shummy stated. If both people who are in NSA relationship are actually worthwhile people who are doing something with their lives and are all around good people its only so long before one or both parties catch feelings.

It may be the man. It may be the woman. Think about every NSA relationship that you’ve had [if any]. If one person isn’t about shit and all they bring to the relationship is sex then most likely they are the one that will probably end up catching feelings. If you’ve never caught feelings in a NSA relationship then you were probably just used for your sex. Sorry to break it to you.

If a man and woman spend enough time together outside of the bedroom you start to get to know each other as people. Mistake number one in a NSA relationship. What started as strictly a sexual thing has spilled out in other areas of your life. Now you know that they are funny, compassionate, intelligent and generous. You really can’t start to look at them like sexual object used to bring down your horny meter a couple of notches.

Mistake number two is starting to care. Once you start to know more and more about this person who you were only supposed to know during bewitching hours you start to think about them during the day, even when you aren’t with them. Now you’re beginning to care about their well being. At this point you are on a very slippery slope. Then it comes. One of the parties does the inevitable. They let their feelings for the other become known. Mistake number three. At this point you may as well not call it a NSA relationship anymore. Expectations have been lifted and you’ve come to the proverbial fork in the road. To the left you have the road that takes you down “feelings are getting intense and before things get any deeper I think its best we go our separate ways.” and to right we have “this started out as a fun thing and I’m interested to see where things go.”

Either way, like @shummy_is_loved concluded, No Strings Attached relationships only work if only one or none of the parties aren’t about shit. So people have you ever been in a NSA relationship or seen one work? What do you think of @shummy_is_loved’s theory?

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19 thoughts on “No Strings Attached

  1. divine pearlz

    Hmmm I agree eith @shummy_is_loved response. I think in the begining it is easier but as time goes along someone is bound to catch feelings. Truth be told that proverbial road sucks. What’s worse is being at that road and wondering if you should cut your losses before you hear the word no or suck it up and makeit known. Personally, if I could do it all over again I would never involve myself in such fuckery.

    Reply
  2. Jubilance

    I really can’t argue with the tweet or your analysis. If a NSA situation lasts, there’s generally a reason WHY you don’t want to deal with that person on a more serious level, especially when the sex is good.

    Reply
  3. Mildred

    I agree with the tweet theory. To me, it’s the obvious. When two are engaged in a NSA relationship, but one or both persons are not quality material, then it’s purely just the “sex is good” thing. Hence, friends with benefits is their only status. Further supporting the tweet, I know two people with very high quality starting off on a NSA level and ended up catching feelings, but neither one could pursue their feelings, because both are already committed in another relationship. I guess that’s another topic for another day though. All in all, when there is worth, there is more; and no worth, then just NSA.

    Reply
  4. @RTS2

    Lala said 110%. 137% is more of a number for me. I’ve been in a “NSA” situation before and I took the road on the left. But it was more of a “You’ve had time to get to know me, say I’m like an ex, want to keep “dealing” with me but now I see you ain’t about shit so I’ll go MY own separate way and you can do what you want on your own.”

    Tell your pal shummy they were on point. Appreciate this post.

    Reply
  5. divinepearlz

    I think even with an agreement the heart has a way of operating on its own. Even with that agreement there good chance that it will all come tumbling down.

    Reply
  6. Pred

    I agree. I’ve seen NSA last for years with some folk, but in doing so the most basic rules have been followed. All convos are only sexual, no dates outside the bedroom, everyone has a place, and they stay in their lane. Discretion is also key as is great sexual chemistry. As men we tend to be territorial in general and tend to feel a way when we find another hand in our cookie jar, but if one can handle that concept and govern themselves accordingly then the NSA can work if thats what one wants.

    Reply
    1. madscientist7 Post author

      “As men we tend to be territorial in general and tend to feel a way when we find another hand in our cookie jar,…”

      team let me tell you. a dude will claim he doesn’t give two shits about a chick but let him find out she’s fucking another dude and he’s salty. it doesn’t matter if he’s fucking like 4 other chicks. lol we are indeed interesting creatures.

      Reply
  7. Pingback: Territorial Behavior « The Native Son

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