If you missed part one of the conversation between LaLaBakir, Star and myself then you can catch it here: Chante’s Got A Man…so what? We discussed the topic of “Is there a shortage of good men or a shortage of women who recognize good men?”
Star: c’mon Tunde, be honest…having multiple women, having freedom, having choices, being young and irresponsible is just plain fun!
Me: nothing in life is guaranteed. shit life isn’t guaranteed.
Star: being the man of a household is a LOT of work and responsibility
Me: so women don’t like to have fun too?
LaLa: touche tu, touche
Me: why are you making it seem like its just a man issue
Star: not as much as men…
Me: these men are having fun with somebody?
LaLa: and not in the same way
Star: Real talk-having one man to me is INFINITELY more fun than entertaining many.
LaLa: to me having fun is being able to come and go as I pleased, just worrying about me
Me: exactly @Cha
Star: in the HOPE that she’ll be “fun” enough to effing keep!
LaLa: not sexing it up w/ every dude that swings his bat my way. Tu please! you know it’s dudes that’s trying to hit everything moving
Me: what? ummm.
LaLa: and THAT’s why they don’t wanna settle down
Me: once again. generalities. i turn down way more pussy than i take.
LaLa: i didn’t say all dudes. but there are alot of dudes w/ that mentality
Star: to me, it’s reasurring to know that he’ll be home when I get there…to know that at 5:15 when the phone rings, that’s him…to see a cool new restaurant and know that I’ve got someone to go with that I actually care about…to trust that when I give to him my all, he will return that affection and commitment…
Me: i know a lot of guys in my position that turn down pussy left and right. sometimes busting a nut just isn’t worth the hassle that comes with it
Star: the hassle=a girl trying to lock you down, coincidence?
Me: for real? no
LaLa: i get that Tu, i do. and you and your homies…are the exception for the most part. you really don’t understand how many dudes try to beat me over my head w/ their ‘game’ just to smash
LaLa: and when i call them out on their shit and make it real clear that “I ain’t fcking”…the texts stop, the phone calls stop
Star: thinking that they’re really offering me something!
LaLa: now he’s not as persistent
Star: even…THE GOOD ONES!
Me: if i want sex from you and that’s it. guess what? i let that be known from the jump.
Star: my Him never committed to me because “I’m used to more experienced women”
LaLa: I guess what i’m saying is I encounter a lot my frauds than genuine dudes
LaLa: and what effs the “game” up..is dudes who perpetrate like they want more…when they really don’t
Star: and we all wanna have sex Tu, this isn’t just about sex…
LaLa: but i suppose that’s a different story for a different day
Me: in my opinion there’s no need to lie to women to get beats. there are plenty of women out here who do that.
Star: for me it’s really about desire to build something long term together… THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! “and what effs the “game” up..is dudes who perpetrate like they want more…when they really don’t”
Me: ((shrug)) i still think this is one of those things that you speak and think into fruition.
Star: YOU can shrug, it doesn’t effect your LIFE. see how we can get frustrated?
Me: you think dudes just want your goods and there are no good dudes out there then guess what? that’s what you’re going to encounter.
Lala: That’s not what we’re saying!
Star: but how many women really think that????? why would we keep looking????
Lala: and I don’t think that. I don’t think every dude is scheming, and is bad. not at all…i know that’s not true
Star: we’re saying you’re rare, you’re special, you’re the cream of the crop… Tu you sound like the rich man trying to tell the poor that money isn’t all that important… BECAUSE YOU’VE GOT IT!
Me: i’m sorry. i can just speak for my surroundings and what i see.
LaLa: but the lines gets blurred really quickly when you have so called “good” dudes acting like the common jerk
Me: i know there’s dudes out there that aren’t shit
Star: so do we…
Me: there’s easy ways around that.
Star: but can you throw a chick a phone number though IJS
Me: call them on their bullshit
LaLa: LLMAO!!! I DO TUNDE!!!!
Me: like Cha said. make it clear you ain’t fucking
Chavon: Oh, sorry for the caps,lol
Me: they’ll go that way —->
Star: we do..
Me: the ones that want more will stick around.
LaLa: quick has hell to
Star: oh, THAT’S clear! lol but even the good guy… when he has the choice between smart, pretty, fun and will eff me and smart, pretty, fun, and I have to wait til marriage to hit…um, they choose option 1.
Me: why wouldn’t they? i would too at first.
Star: how do we change our circumstances? tell us?
LaLa: it doesn’t bother me like it used to. i could give a fuck less..it’s the bs that is extremely old. like, yo…LEAVE ME ALONE
Me: but if he really sees that you’re worth it then he’ll choose number 2.
LaLa: i suppose shrugs
Star: how will he ever know that I’m worth it if he bolts when he finds out no pums? we’re so off topic…
Me: not really. this all ties into a good man.the thing is do you have something to offer besides your love below?
i know there’s women i’ve dated and really liked that i never slept with. know why? she had things to offer me outside of that. i enjoyed spending time with her outside of the bedroom.
LaLa: actually i do think I have a lot more to offer than that
Star: here it is in a nutshell pushes against the air, get it, I’m in a nutshell : I believe that there are good men, it frustrates me that good men have so many options that they have no incentive to settle down, I get frustrated at the amount of men that approach me simply looking for sex, and in exasperation I’ve been know to ask where the “good” (life headed int he same direction, ready to commit, into me and I’m into them) men are.
Me: no offense but every woman thinks she does.
LaLa: And I’d also like to add, that I’ve spoken to my parents about this topic (daddy, mommy and step mom) and they all say that they are happy they are not dating during this time
Star: totally…I do believe that I offer so much more…and I’m eager to share that…which is why it’s so frustrating when all the men who approach me want is the goods…
LaLa: they see the “issues” and what not that we face as young adults
Me: honestly i don’t think this issue is going to get any better between men and women. people are going to get married even more later in life as time goes on. hell the rate of marriage is going to plummet.
Star: and this is helping our frustration how?