Concernment of Copulation

I have debated with myself for the past two weeks on how I wanted to tackle this post without coming off as misogynist or woe is me. Finally I decided to just write it without worrying how I came off or how you [generally speaking] might perceive this. I’m speaking from the point of view of a man who is attracted to women but I’m sure women can take what I say and apply it to your own life and it would still hold true.

I like sex. Plain and simple. It feels good so that’s why I do it. I’m also good at it as well. I’m not saying that to brag. Well maybe I am but that doesn’t negate the fact that I like sex, it makes me feel good and in turn it makes women feel good. This post isn’t about my sexual prowess though.

I remember a time not too long ago before I started having sex. In the grand scheme of things I’ve only been having sex for about 8 1/2 years which isn’t that long considering I’m 29 years old. Life before sex was so much simpler. In college my biggest issues consisted of how I was going to pledge that fraternity or how well I performed on my midterms. In high school I was concerned with basketball practice and scoring high enough on SAT to get a full scholarship. Those points of contention just seem trivial compared to some of the concerns I’ve dealt with since I started dealing with women on an intimate level.

My next statement might not be popular or faddish with a lot of you but I think that in general sex is overrated. Speaking as a man the pursuit of pussy has been held in too high regard and a lot of times what you get out of it doesn’t necessarily match what you put in [||]. For moments of pleasure we’re willing to spend money we may or may not afford to spend, go places we have no business going and do things that are in direct contradiction to our character. Pussy can fuck up the most finely tuned moral compass.

Throwing blows, fighting demons, trying to stop from busting semen in an unfamiliar bitch.

I know my niggas feel this shit. How could I fuck her raw and I just met the hoe?

My dick took over, it ain’t never felt this wet before. I’m stressing in my mind but its way too late to stop it.

Made the shit so bad I had the condom in my pocket, let’s change the topic.

~ J-Cole (2Face-Friday Night Lights)

Want to talk about stress? Ever had a pregnancy scare? How many dudes have prayed to God that if she’s not pregnant that you’ll never have sex again? Oh nobody else? *shrug*

I’m not saying that all women have to offer is their sex. I love women and everything most things about them. I love their company but it’s terrible. She has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon [5 points if you can name that movie without Google]. Lately I’ve just wondered how much less complicated my life would be if it didn’t involve sex. Where am I going with this? I have no idea but I am starting to second guess the importance of sex in my life at this point.


21 thoughts on “Concernment of Copulation

  1. keisha brown

    i applaud this post.
    i recently read an article in glamour magazine by a woman who lost her virginity at 28.
    in it she said: “sex is not that big a deal and a very big deal all at once”
    i stopped to think about it, and it’s very true. but socialization doesn’t allow for men and women to see sex the same way. mostly because the consequences are different.
    i have to ponder this some more.
    but great post.

  2. Euphoric Ears

    I can dig it. I think I’m at that point myself. Sure I like sex. But right now, it’s not worth the trouble and complications that surround it. I’m at a place right now where sex is the least of my concerns. I actually feel it would stunt the personal growth that’s taking place in my life at the moment.

    1. olivya23

      “I’m at a place right now where sex is the least of my concerns. I actually feel it would stunt the personal growth that’s taking place in my life at the moment.”

      Cosign 100%!!

    2. madscientist7 Post author

      i dig it lala. that’s where i’m at with it. the trouble that comes along with random sex sometimes just isn’t worth it. *thumbs up for personal growth*

  3. That Damn African

    Part of it is probably just a maturity thing. Some people used to love to go to the club all the time and then grew out of it. Feeling that sex isn’t as important or worth the sacrifice like it used to be doesn’t sound weird if you relate it to anything else you grow out of.

  4. NowSayItWithMe

    Cuz 60% of the time, sex works everytime.
    I’m with Lala on this:
    “I’m at a place right now where sex is the least of my concerns. I actually feel it would stunt the personal growth that’s taking place in my life at the moment.”

    I believe we’ve had this convo. But the stress that comes with slapping skin is ugh. Forces me to push my eyes to the back of my head. And there are people out here who can’t go 40 days without it? Like they depend on it. Tuh. It really isn’t that big of a deal. It’s been ripped of the intimacy and I guess until I find that one, it can wait. Sure it’s hard to completely stop my mind from drifting to thoughts of throwbacks (giggity) but I think it’s good for me.. to quit. (you heard it here 1st).

    As far as the guy promising to never have sex again if she’s not pregnant, LOL I’ve seen so many people go through that (not with me) and their pain is always felt. They never know what to do lol.

    You stay classy San Diego. Lol 😛

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      lol if anyone got the reference i knew it would be you. and yes we’ve had this conversation.

      “wait, what are you going with. london gentleman? no wait, blackbeard’s delight”

      “no i’m going with sex panther. its made with real bits of panther so you know its good.”

      “brian, you never cease to amaze me.”

      1. Starita34

        Great movie-for the record though, Wedding Crashers is superior, it’s a proven fact. # Stirring Shit

  5. Neci Harris

    As a 27 year old female, who lost her virginity at 22, I’m young in the game as well. Five years to be exact. And in those five years, I don’t feel like I’ve missed anything. I should have waited longer. I’ve had good sex, and bad sex, with good people and bad people. However, sex with anyone is overrated unless there is something more. More feelings, more love (at least a hard like)more intimacy, more sensuality, more of you. I’ve thought about celibacy, and I’m still thinking about it. I’ve also thought about just taking it slow. Maybe you should take it slow: If you meet someone who you are attracted to physically, see if you can get that same feeling from her intellect, or her smile, or from her brushing up against you. Once you have been intimate with her emotionally and mentally, I’m sure sex with her won’t be overrated. 🙂 But hey I just started this sex thing!!! LOL

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      good advice neci. i don’t think the problem for me is taking it slowly though. i’m really not the type to just have sex with anyone or people i just met. i think the issues of sex can also come from someone who you care deeply for as well sometimes. but wait, you just started having sex (relatively). hmmmm.

  6. N.I.A.naturally

    Well, I’ve been sexless for a minute now, so I’m good on sex. Frankly, I’m enjoying being selfish right now. Its all about me, and I’m not thinking about some dude, his sex, and any consequences that may come along with it. I’m at a place in my life where the next man I want to have sex with should be someone I actually love, and can see as my husband. And who knows when that will be… Good post!

  7. Muze

    i’m with NIA. any man at this point that i’m giving myself to sexually will be someone i can see very long term future with. otherwise, i’m good right now. lol

  8. FLYY

    Late as always but I had to say I feel you on this Tunde. I think a part of this also has to do w/ my personal experience w/ s.ex but that’s neither here nor there…


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s