How Did I Get Here?

There’s this woman I have a crush on. I know what you’re thinking. “Tunde has a crush on everybody”. Let me tell you what makes this crush different. 1). Her name isn’t Melanie Fiona. and 2). I don’t know this woman. Never met her. Don’t even know what she looks like. I didn’t think this was even possible.

Let me explain how I came to such a crossroad. See on any given weekday I read somewhere between 15-30 different blogs. Some of these blogs discuss relationships, some discuss music. Others are finance based but most are personal blogs that discuss randomness (similar to mine). This is how I came to this happenstance. See there’s a certain lawyer blogging woman who has a propensity to use $1,000 words and is a great story teller. Sidebar: a woman with an excellent vocabulary is sexy.

This got me thinking. And we all know great things occur when I start thinking. Attraction doesn’t always have to be physical. I’m aware that initial attraction is based mostly on physical looks but there times when attraction has nothing to do with the physical.

I have a lot of female friends who I’m not the least bit physically attracted to. Not saying that they aren’t attractive but I’m not attracted to them. There’s a difference. What attracted me to those women to the point where I call them my friends is their personality. Personality goes a long way in my book.

A 9 can be bumped down to a 7 easily if her personality doesn’t add up to her looks. On the other hand a woman who is a 7 might be bumped up to an 8 if she has an excellent disposition. I know you’re thinking that a bad personality drops a a woman 2 notches but a good one only raises her stock 1 degree. Yes that’s because as much as personality matters, looks matter just a little bit more. At least to me it does.

This brings me full circle to the my original point of contention. If looks matter more than personality to me how is it possible that I have a crush on someone whom I have no idea how they look?


10 thoughts on “How Did I Get Here?

  1. Jubilance

    Interesting conundrum. I can relate.

    Now…if you ever do meet her in person or at least see what she looks like, will her physical appearance diminish the crush you have on her if she’s not your type physically?

  2. That Damn African

    Seems pretty simple. You said it yourself, personality goes a long way in your book and matters only slightly less than looks. Her looks can’t help or hurt her since you don’t know what she looks like. If personality really didn’t matter that much to you, then I could understand the confusion.

    Plus, it’s a crush. Those don’t require a lot of knowledge on a person or interaction with them. All you need are a couple of things about a person that infatuate you and you’ve got a crush. If you were in love with her, then I’d see a problem.

  3. BP

    There’s this woman I have a crush on. I know what you’re thinking. “Tunde has a crush on everybody”

    ^^^^I guffawed at that!

    Tu-I think it is possible to be attracted to someone you have never seen before. I know it happened to me with this clerk I used to talk to over the phone all the time. I like that you actually admitted in being able to do so because men are such visual creatures.

  4. dcbuppie

    Ooooo we. For me and perhaps most women, looks are not the first factor. I think this means you r one of those guys in touch with ur other senses. I think that it is great. U can connect with ppl on some real ish and not superficial.

  5. keisha brown

    this was an interesting post.

    i’ve always been an instincts person, and before blogging, twitter, facebook – i’ve made some connections to people without knowing what they look like.

    and just like someones bad attitude can bring their overall score down, having some/many of the qualities you want, brings it up.

    ps: this blog title made me think of another cdn songstress – deborah cox 😉


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