Coming back from a road trip this weekend I was checking my timeline and I came across this tweet.
“My homeboy just bought a very ugly engagement ring …. I really hope she says yes smdh” ~One Of My Followers (OOMF)
Usually when this topic comes up around the blog world, I don’t have much to say. This statement caused me to pause, consider, then furrow my brow. This is because I’ve always had the assumption that the woman I decide to ask to marry me won’t to materialistic. Let me be clear on that, I don’t think that is materialistic just because a woman wants a nice engagement ring. I will scrutinize a woman who will not accept a man’s proposal for marriage based solely on the size and price of a rock.
If I know I’m a good man. I treat a woman like she’s a queen. I provide for her, I care about her feelings and I’ve demonstrated that I want to spend the rest of my life with her then I should be able to get on bended knee with a cubic zirconia. Why should I be able to do that? A ring is nothing but a symbol of my promise to her that I plan on marrying her and taking wedding vows. I think she should trust that if I proposed to her with a cubic zirconia then there is good reason why the money I would have spent on a ring was spent on something else. Maybe like a down payment on a home.
This is the point I tried to make when I responded to the tweet and I was met with a debate. Per usual [as a man] I used logic and common sense but I was greeted with an argument that was laced with emotion.
OOMF: ” I agree but if he’s getting to the point of proposing he should have an idea or what she likes.”
BV: “what if that’s what he can afford at that time? you’d rather wait say another year? seems materialistic to me.”
OOMF: “prob is very materialistic but if he can’t afford a ring can he afford a wife? As a husband he is the provider.”
BV: “ummm so you don’t plan on contributing to household bills? a man is a provider but in this economy you can’t expect him to be the sole provider. and what if that’s not his priority? what if he would rather have a down payment on a house?”
OOMF: “well I didn’t know we were talking about me lol, yes I plan to contribute (i can pay bills as well) but I plan for my husband to be the head or the family; economy is a cop-out, he does what he has to do for his family.”
BV: “chicks kill me with that. and women wonder why a lot of dudes don’t want the hassle of marriage.”
OOMF: “yeah it goes both ways a lot of chicks don’t want the hassle either …” [Author’s Note: This statement is filled with lies.]
I think a lot of women have this mentality and then they wonder why they are single [single as defined by not married]. If you have this type of attitude towards something like an engagement ring, what man in his right mind is going to put himself in the position to deal with that for the rest of life? There are a lot of single women walking around talking about what they want in an engagement ring and what they won’t accept. Guess what? I seriously doubt you’re not going to marry a man based on size of your ring. If you do, I think you really did him a favor.