Last week I read a post by Sowhatiff entitled Hustle Man, Don’t Sell Me A Dream. In the post she covered a guy that she dated. Essentially the guy sold her a dream. He didn’t do it on purpose but in the end she felt she would have been better off not buying what he was selling. I could be wrong but from what I got from the post he wasn’t a bad guy her intuition caused her to give pause and reconsider her future with the guy.
Here is my comment to her post:
i’ve definitely been sold a dream. i’m going to leave it at that.
I’m going to expand on a particular dream that I was sold. You see its not only men that sell women dreams. It goes both ways. I know it may be hard to believe but I have been sold beachfront property in Iowa. You see Sowhatiff had her woman’s intuition which allowed her to avoid a potentially sticky situation and come out virtually unscathed. Men, on the other hand usually take their time when deciding to settle down. When they find that one and fall in love their noses are wide open and they essentially throw caution to the wind and push all their chips to the middle of the table.
We do this because we figure if we put all our eggs in one basket then why wouldn’t the woman we are with. I mean all we hear women talk about is how men aren’t willing to settle down so when we decide we want to then she should be all in right?
Learned that the hard way.
I learned through experience that a woman can/will give you a false sense of security while still doing dirt (virtually the same thing women complain about men doing). This led me to believe women can talk a big game. Just as big as men if not bigger. The difference is what happens to the person who gets sold the lemon. Men deal with heartbreak and disappointment entirely different than women. Instead of leaning on our friends and letting the world know we are hurt we react by running through other women. Philandering and breaking hearts trying (exercise in futility) to hurt the one who hurt us.
I’ve also been there.
Let me tell you a story.
There was this woman I was madly in love with. Like I really loved her. As far as I was concerned there was no other woman for me. That was until out the blue she broke up with me. She wanted to be friends. Reluctantly, I agreed because I figured that at least she would still be in my life. [At this point in my life I would have told her to kick rocks and keep her friendship. You live and you learn.] So, we became friends. Not really friends because I still wanted more from her. That was until two weeks later I found out she went back to dating the guy she dated right before me.
See at this point most women would have been done with the guy in question. Not a fool in love. When she found out the grass wasn’t greener on the other side she eventually came back and I took her back. After that things were smooth sailing and I began to think I made the right decision. Fast forward a year. At this point I’m thinking this is the woman for me and I’m contemplating marriage. Then I found out about this other guy. [She essentially had a backup plan.] At this point our relationship was never the same. It became rocky and reached the point of no return when she slapped me in public. [Anyone who knows me knows this is my biggest deal breaker.] After our relationship ended I learned that there was yet another guy in the picture I didn’t know about.
As you can guess after our relationship ended I turned into somewhat of a male whore. I never intended to hurt anyone who I may have dealt with along my process of trying to heal but I guess that’s how life is. Honestly, I’m over that heartbreak but it left my heart weary and a lot more cautious. Its kind of like scar tissue. Scar tissue forms in response to injury. Although scar tissue helps to repair injured tissue, it can present its own problems. Scar tissue represents a “weak spot” that is usually the first to rupture under a load. So these days my heart has a lot more chinks that are prone to crack and break.
I definitely think that women can sell dreams. It happens everyday.