First, as I’m writing this post I’m silently cursing Suki because I was going to write about this on recommendation from IRantURave but Suki just had to call me out. So now I’m proving her ass wrong. I can and will write about subjects that can put men in a negative light (including myself).
In a previous post entitled Dream Sellers, I admitted to being somewhat of a whore. I explained how I came to that point in my life. What I failed to mention is that being a male whore isn’t really all that cool. If I were a woman writing a post about how many men I ran through in my past and I wasn’t anonymous, I would imagine that I would be judged and I would lose a lot of potential suitors. Why is it that I got no such flack? There are women that I date/d that read my blog. No one so much as raised an eyebrow (if they did they didn’t bring it to my attention).
I understand that there are plenty of double standards in this world and I’m ok with that. Sometimes a double standard works in your favor and sometimes it doesn’t. Do you want to know what I tell a woman when she asks me, why is it ok for men to sleep around and its not ok for them to do the same. I say “So you want to be a whore?” The only time you should be able to complain about a double standard is when you actually want what the other side has. If you don’t want to be a whore then you shouldn’t complain. Like I already said. There’s nothing cool about being a whore.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret (may not be a secret to some of you). I was a virgin till I was 20 years old. This wasn’t by accident. It was actually by design. I wasn’t some nerdy kid who didn’t have any luck with the ladies (well I did in early high school). I was smart, athletic, good looking and I definitely had no problem with women. I learned early on from watching my dad (who had no problem hiding his womanizing ways) how being a whore can bring you nothing but trouble. Even though my dad was a friendly guy he always told me “focus on your studies. chase that money and eventually women will chase you.” I listened to my dad. One of only pieces of useful advice he gave me. While my friends were losing their virginity and having “locker room” talk I shrugged off questions when asked about my conquests. By the time I got to college no one actually believed me when I said I was a virgin. They assumed I was using it as some type of game.
What I’ve learned from my times as an an adult virgin to a man whore to somewhere in between is that most men go through a stage in life where they are more concerned about sleeping with as many women as possible. Its not until we reach a certain point where we realize that sex isn’t all there is when it comes to women. A lot of times this lesson comes at a price when we look back and realize how many women we’ve hurt and how to a larger extent we’ve hurt ourselves. This is where I am now. Quality trumps quantity any and everyday.
“I’m trying to be strong and remind myself she ain’t about shit. These hoes the same, all that change is the outfit.” – J.Cole (Villematic)