Mind of a Man

When it comes to dating and the opposite sex I don’t think a lot like other men that I know. I say this because I while out this past weekend I noticed things about different women that I came across and I wondered to myself “Do most guys notice things like this about women?” I quickly came to the conclusion that they probably didn’t.

I’ve written about things about women that turn me on. Things that turn me off. I think you all know my stance on face or intelligence versus body. If not check it out, here , here and here. So I’ve accepted the fact that what might attract most men to a certain woman might not make me attracted to her as well.

Let’s say I’m at a party and a woman catches my eye. When I first observe her I take her in from head to toe. First thing I notice is her height. I’m a little above average height so I happen to think the perfect height for a woman is between 5’7-5’9. Now I know that most women don’t fall into this category so I would never hold that against a woman.

Next I move to her face. Yes, that’s one of the first things I check out. I never understood how dude’s check for bodies first. If you think of physical traits as resources, a pretty face would be gold (in high demand) titties and ass would be aluminum (most abundant metal on Earth). I mean aluminum is pretty useful  and convenient but you can find it on any grocery store shelf. When dissecting a woman’s face I look at things like her eyebrows, skin (health not complexion), dimples (if any) and her overall mouth (lips, teeth).

Now if her face is on point then I move on to her body. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want a woman who has a thin waist with a healthy portion of titties and ass. If she doesn’t have one or the other or even both its still not something that would discount her in my book. Honestly, the first thing I try to size up is if she works out. I work out often so I kind of expect other people to do the same or at least look like you’ve seen a gym recently. A lot of women make the assumption that when men check out their bodies they are only looking at their assets. I love legs. Especially if they are nicely shaped and they are accented with a nice pair of heels.

Speaking of heels. I notice a woman’s accessories. Yes accessories.

If I look down at her shoes and they’re busted? Yikes. I notice bags. Shoes. Jewelry. Makeup (lack thereof or too much).

Why do I pay attention to things like accessories where most men don’t? Simple. Looking back at every single one of my ex-girlfriends I can say they all had one thing in common. They were bad bitches. And when I say bad I mean they were attractive and had a great sense of fashion/style. I’ve accepted that this is the type of woman I am attracted to.

So this is what goes through my mind when I check out a woman. All of this happens within the span of 5-10 seconds without staring or direct eye contact. What goes through your mind when checking out someone of the opposite sex?


42 thoughts on “Mind of a Man

  1. Ms. Tee

    Good blog sir. Me pesonslly I love a dude who smell good 1st off. I also look at a mans shoes at 1st glance & if that is a go, then I move on to the smile/teeth. I love a man with pretty white teeth & soft luscious pink lips. Then from there I would go onto his height. I m not the type to exclude the shorter guys since I am 5’9 but I love a tall skinny guy. I m not really into a muscle head but I wouldnt mind if he did have a tyrese build. I must say I m not s picky female. All I ask Is that if the guy I m checking out fits the bill then I hope he will be respectful to me in his approach, if we move on to phase 2 & start to talk. one another.

  2. Alexius

    Good post bro.

    The first thing I notice about a girl is her disposition. Now, when I say that, I mean her overall facial interaction with her surroundings. One of my biggest pet peeves is a mean person, ESPECIALLY a mean woman. There is no reason for you to walk down the aisle at Kroger looking like the grinch, or at the bar with that “bitch get off me” stance among your face… Nobody told you to come out. If she has a pleasant aura abt her face, then I look at her hair. Wild hair annoys me. Seriously. Somethings I can get past, as long as your teeth are clean, you won’t get rejected for them being slightly out of place…slightly. Then I move to the overall structure of that woman. I Try to guess her weight, compare it to her height. I look for that infamous pouch. I, myself am a breast man, so I decide how they fall, then I look at her overall stance. Some women stand like they just left the bed room. All bad. I like when a woman stands straight up, professionally. As if she is shaking hands at a business meeting. Yes, posture, its important to me. Then, lastly I analyze her clothes. I honestly don’t care if you have a coach bag, because you can have one, but be wretched and sometimes thats your selling point. I don’t date bags… But I will say, I love a woman that dresses well and is well coordinated and in tune with her own style… All within 30 seconds.

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      i’m with you on the disposition thing. i can’t stand when women go to environments where its expected you be social and are stand-offish. they act like someone put a gun to their head and made them come out. if i’m in a bad mood then i’m staying home.

      and on the coach bag thing. you don’t have to have designer anything. i know i don’t shop by label but by what i think looks good on me but if i notice that your gucci bag has ‘Cs’ instead of ‘Gs’ then you lose a lot of cool points.

      1. Alexius Francois

        I feel you on the “Coach” issue. I don’t care much about labels on a girl. Mainly because I prefer shorts and a T-shirt at home… But some girls let that shit define them and don’t focus on the fact that I can see tracks on tracks on tracks… among other things that are horrible.

  3. Corrin31

    The first thing i notice is a mans build/height. I like men who are tall and stocky*. I’m a plus size girl and the woman in me wants a man that pysically looks like he can protect me. The shortest dude i’ve ever dated was 6’0 200lbs. When i say stocky I don’t mean fat,but kinda muscular (again i’m going for the protector). Most guys I’ve dated have usually played football so they have that layer of muscle under that layer of fat,lol. I’m big on working out (i do so myself at least 4x a week) but I can’t look at somebody and tell if they work out so thats not a huge factor for me.After height I look at face and if I think he’s cute then we have a GO! Thnigs like style,smell,teeth,and skin are also a must in order to pass GO and collect $200!

  4. Keona

    Because personality is so important to me, first I usually discard any guy who looks a certain way that makes me believe his personality wouldn’t appeal to me: sagging jeans, gold chains/teeth, “grill,” clothes that are too tight, and a guy who wears a mohawk.

    Then I look at the face. I’m a sucker for nice teeth, dark skin, dimples, & well-maintained dreads. But I’ll also gladly date a light-bright who’s going bald–they can be attractive, too. Generally, the taller the better, but if he’s shorter (5’8-5’10), then he needs to be stocky, or even overweight, but he’s got to have some size somewhere.

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      i’m a straight dude and even i don’t like seeing sagging jeans and mohawks. i just shake my head when i see it.

      so you would discount any short, skinny dude?

      1. Keona

        Um..as far as ‘immediate attraction,” a short, skinny guy would probably have to be really, REALLY cute for me to give him a second glance. But of course after you get to know a person personality plays a role in his attractiveness.

  5. Euphoric Ears

    Hmmm…first thing I notice about a dude is his posture. How he carries himself. Does he appear to be comfortable in his own skin?

    His build. I’m #TeamSkinny dudes all day…bonus points if you’re slightly bowlegged. I always look for the bowlegs. His teeth and skin care. How his clothes fit. Do they look sloppy on him? Do they appear to be clean? Does he match?

    His smile. Men with nice smiles are winners. More importantly, men who aren’t afraid to smile.

    1. Ni-Ni

      Yep… Exactly what she said except the whole #teamSkinny… I need someone that is at least a 200 pounder. LOL

  6. tiffany

    Ooo gud1!!!

    30 secs or less wnt do me any justice but if need b , I notice different things. If im forced in a 30 sec or less observation, I take a glance at appearance in comparison to interaction by that I mean say u wit a bunch of “thugs” so yal have that same type of swag bt yo facial experession is like “man I can’t wait to b away” then I get a vibe that, that ain’t u 4real there’s just a lack of confidence n that’s a huge turn off cuz I luv to notice u confident without ever having to speak. So 30 secs or less mainly u vs. who u appear to b. With a lil more time mii official observation starts at the lips n the smile (mii fav) that comes after n then work up the facial features. Its not how the nose n eyes look jus do they fit as a whole. Next is to the hairline. Too far bk is a no no but a bad edge-up is even worse!! . . I luv a fade with nice waves cuz it shows u like to keep urself up. When it comes clothes its not so much what kind jus how he put it togetha. I do have a tiny attraction to polo tho (slight turn on) . . Bt its not a must and decent shoes. The final thing I wait to c for is what u look at when ever that initial contact is made. . . It says alot.

      1. tiffany

        I am too! I’ve jus ran into sum crazies. So 30 secs is ample time bt mre is always helpful.!

  7. That Damn African

    Good post. I probably notice a woman’s face and height first. The face is a natural point the brain initially focuses on when seeing a new person and, like you said, holds more value than a great body. Subsequently, noticing a woman’s face tells me a lot about her mood & disposition, like Alexius mentioned. And since I’m below average height, her height is something that pops out at me. Then I move on to the body and follow the same progression I had with her face. Check her out physically and then focus on her body language.

  8. Lioness Rising

    There is little I can say attracts me to a man without talking to him first. Yes, confidence, good hygiene, and a great smile can help, but when I wind a man who can make me laugh without being loud, or make me smile without trying too hard, everything about him becomes sexy.
    Quiet men also draw me in.

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      i’m sorry but i don’t buy it. i mean everything you said may be true and all but there’s no way you can tell me that physical attractiveness doesn’t play a role when you first meet a man.

      1. Lioness Rising

        haha of course I need to be attracted to him!!!…but I’ve found that there is no one physical quality that hands down I always love. Instead its always his demeanor etc that brings him from a 5 to a 10 in my book.

        I don’t know, all the “hot” guys that my friends like I never see the hype…and then i’ll talk to some random dude and all of a sudden I’m daydreaming about him.

        If you really pressured me to name some ill say I don’t like guys that are too muscular/built. Very lean but strong, yeah that gets me.

  9. Karen

    The first thing I notice about a guy is usually the shape of his head. Yes, I know this is weird but an unusually shaped head (not a big head just unusually shaped) is NOT attractive. There are only so may hats you can wear and strangely I am the first one to admit that most guys loook great in hats but they prob are covering up the shape of their heads. Then I look at height. In my head I am taller then I actually am in reality so I attempt to figure out if the guy will still be taller than me when I wear heels. It’s not a deal breaker but I dont want to feel as if I am looking down on you. I take shoes into consideration because you can tell alot about a person by their shoes. Teeth and eyes are next because I cant deal with you if your mouth looks like you smoke meth. Eyes…well I just like eyes…*shrug* BUT if you can’t look me directly in the eyes while talking to me we cant kick it. Lastly, I take in smell. I absolutely love a GREAT smelling man! I am happy when he takes the time out to smell like something lol.. I do this mental evaluation in about 15-20 seconds

  10. Norak Siwel

    First thing I notice about a man is height. I am about average height for a female (5’4.5). I usually go for a guy whose head I can’t see the top of, or one I don’t have to break my neck to look into his face. Usually the 5’9-6’2 range. Secondly, like most of you said, I notice his smile. I am a sucker for a pretty smile and nice, clean teeth. The straighter the better, but I’m not opposed to slightly imperfect teeth. Next, I notice his build. Most of the men I’ve dated had some type of athletic build. I’m not that into muscles as I am into just healthiness. If you huffing and puffing after walking from one side of the room to the next, it’s just not going to work out. Another trait I notice is whether he presents himself as confident (turn on) as opposed to cocky (turn off). A man’s confidence may be the sexiest thing to me. Lastly, I notice his shoes and overall style. I tend to be attracted to guys who dress like my brothers whom I would describe as pretty boys ( I guess) but not overly pretty. I’m really not that picky about that as long as he has a clean look.

  11. ebony_smiles

    I think someone touched on this earlier but I’m definitely a survival of the fittest type girl. I look at height, weight, build, etc. The things that make a man a man to me. The things that make me think/feel as if he can protect and provide. and course face. shallow as it is the better looking you are, the farther you will get along in the world.
    Now if we start talking, and your personality rocks, im a bit more lenient in the looks department.

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      i never understood why people putting an emphasis on looks is deemed shallow. its the first thing you notice about a person. so why wouldn’t that be a deciding factor?

  12. Pingback: Mind of a Woman | max-logic

  13. Flyy

    Hmmm… 30 seconds. Let’s see b/c I have a little bit of height at 5’7.5 and I wear heels like I was born w/ them on… I check height first. Can’t help it… that’s not to say that if you come in under 5’10 you don’t have a chance, but you’re gonna have to pull way harder in another department.

    After height, hair. I am in love w/ a fresh fade. I could do dreds, but they’d have to be neat. But a fresh cut will get me everytime. Next is the face… a nice handsome face, but not a i’m so d@mn pretty face… lol.

    Clothes and build is next. The reason they are together is b/c fit is important to me. I often insist that I’m not all about skinny dudes but that’s all that seems to cross my path, lol. Maybe b/c of the height that I’m checking for. I don’t know… A nice build with clothes that fit that build. Ayyyyy… we’re in business.

    Corny clothes is a no go. By corny I mean sagging jeans, wearing a suit that wasn’t in your size or has never been tailored looking like you just walked out of your father’s closet…Ed Hardy = corny; Clothes w/ excessive labeling = corny… Somewhere in that time I’m sure I’ve checked his shoes as well…

    Lastly, there are bonus points given for a great smelling cologne and well placed accessories. Accessories for men can be hard/awkward, but a simple gold/silver cross? (*faints*) A nice diamond stud that is not weighing your entire ear lobe down? (*gets up, faints again*)

  14. KemaVA

    I’m only 5’1 one but I like height too. However my height gives me a chance to be more inclusive with my interest.

    More important than height would be his physicality. He doesnt have to be brolick but he has to have love for the gym. A pleasant face is nice too. But I think I forgive more in the face than I do in the body. I need to know that a man craves activity. A beer belly tells me that his favorite activity is sitting on the couch.

    Once the shallow attributes are satisfied the one thing I truly look for is someone that I just get along with. Conversation flows effortlessly and we share political / social ideologies.

  15. Jess Simmons

    Great blog post.

    First thing I notice about a man is his smile. He’s gotta have straight teeth. There is nothing worse than a man with a jacked up yuck mouth…ewww. Extra cool points for a man with dimples *swoons* lol

    Second, I thing I notice is what he smells like…I love a man that wears a great smelling cologne…Lawd that gets me every time!

    Third, I check his height. I used to love a 6 ft+ man, but the older I get, the less picky I am, especially since I am only 5’2″. As long as we don’t meet eye to eye, we cool.

  16. tellylonglegs

    I know I’m late but hey ***shrugs***

    There are so many things that catch my eye. Depending on the guy, it will and can vary. From the way he smiles, his demeanor, his height, the way he carries himself, his facial features, the way he speaks and his sense of humor. I LOVE to laugh so if he can’t make me laugh then it’s not gonna work.

    Good post.

  17. Veronica

    Hmmm lots of good stuff here. Personally, I think I notice height first. I wouldn’t dismiss guys my height (5’7 ish) or shorter, but I just have to be honest, they’d have to have a hell of a lot more going on. Shallow? *shrugs* oh well… LOL this is what I prefer..LOL After height, I do check for build. I mean I can’t say I prefer one ‘size’ (stocky -vs- skinny or what not), but I do like a well put together fella. If he’s bigger, just be bigger with a purpose (just not sloppy and just uugghh), if he’s slim, be slim with a purpose (not anorexic and sick looking). I do think slim guys have been slept on too… I tried it unexpectedly and I must say… well… I was quite surprised…Them skinny ones be STRONG mann! whew!! Then I check for the face teeth and lips are VERY important to me. Eyes too… I try not to ‘judge’ too much on ‘fashion’ because I like a well dressed guy, but the ‘what he got on’ issue depends a lot on where we are. I don’t expect to see a guy dressed to the nine walking in walmart, but at the same time, I don’t wanna see him in pajama pants and house slippers ya know. I def feel the ‘demenor’ thing too… nothing I hate more that a guy who is in a place and has this sense of ‘this whole place owes me’. I find confidence (properly placed) to be VERY sexy, but cockyness… can be a turn off (UNLESS he’s cocky for a reason 😉 ) …

    Good Post Tunde…


  18. Nikki

    Love this post and reading everyone’s comments as well. I’m very surprised no one else specificly named eye, but I guess that could sort of go with face. But anywho, for me its the eyes. No one particular eye color or shape, just beautiful eyes. They could be as dark as tar or as hazel as maple syrup. I truly believe that eyes are the gateway to a persons soul and tell so much. Once I make it past there, depending on how close we are a man scent is also a very noticeable thing for me right off. There’s nothing in the world like a great smelling man. After that I’m more than likely going to notice his height or lack there off….I’m only 5’0 but my preference is 5’10 or better (I call it the Will/Jada complex)….well by the my 30 or so seconds up and if he past those few checkpoints I’m hoping for an intelligent and witty pick-up line/conversation.


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