Dark Skinned Dimes?

Yesterday I read a post by Dr. Jay on SingleBlackMale. In the post Dr. Jay discussed his new found appreciation for brown skinned women with short hair. The conversation turned to preferences and per usual the light skinned vs dark skinned argument surfaced. Now usually I let most comments roll off my back whether I agree with them or not. I rarely let anyone (especially someone I don’t know in real life) get under my skin. Yesterday was a little different. This comment here:

I don’t know how else to say this nicely. Pretty dark skinned women are more rare. Its hard to find a dark dark dime. Therefore, I value them more. The more rare something is, the more I am going to cherish it. Like baseball cards, precious stones, and old school cars.

I believe this right here is some of the most ignorant bullshit I’ve read in a long time.

My response:

i don’t know son. i know a lot of dark skinned dimes. know why? because i based prettiness based on facial features and not skin tone.

I just don’t know how people can view beauty in terms of skin complexion. It really bothers me when people actually believe that being dark skinned and beautiful is a mutually exclusive event. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Ugly knows no hue. Seriously you can’t tell me this chick right here

Miss Piggy

looks better than this chick right here.

Stunning- Vilayna LaSalle

There is no comparison in my opinion but guess what? There are actually dudes out here that will give women like Tiny bonus points because she’s light skinned and deduct points or tell Vilayna she’s “pretty for a dark skinned girl”. I just don’t get it. So guys out there that are only checking for something as minuscule as the shade of a woman’s skin. I have friends (of both sexes) that have preferences for light skinned people and I’ll never judge someone for their preference. Shit I know I have my own but when those preferences blind you that’s when you’ll get the side from me.  Either way go right ahead. More for me. Meanwhile I hope you find comfort with the Tiny’s of the world.


45 thoughts on “Dark Skinned Dimes?

    1. MadScientist7

      i got hit on twitter just now with this:

      “I can bet you that was a dark skin black man who made that comment. #Fact”

      i don’t know what he looks like but its probably true.

  1. WisdomIsMisery

    1) Thanks for putting me up on game on Vilayna Lasalle. *opens new Google Images tab*

    2) Good post. I was genuinely surprised by the way the comments went on J’s post today. At the same time, I guess I shouldn’t be. J started the fire. I plan to add kerosene to it on Thursday, because like you I was taken aback by some of the comments. Unfortunately, I dont plan on being as tactful as yourself.

    1. MadScientist7


      i really think people (mainly chicks) like to ether jay because of his previous posts. people don’t even internalize his words anymore before they come at him. i wasn’t even mad at his post today. now the comments section is where my side eye came out.

  2. TellyLongLegs

    You’re right. Growing up the most facially challenged girls had guys swooning over them simply because they were light skinned, I never understood it. I still don’t.

    Beauty and skin tone is not mutually exclusive.

  3. Jubilance

    I think some of that comes from people who have been ostracized & ridiculed their entire life for their skin color, so they internalize that hate & seek out that which they’ve been told all their life is attractive. I’ve seen darker-skinned people who refuse to date anyone darker than caramel complexion, and I’ve also seen lighter-skinned people seek out the darkest person they can find. I’d love to see people broaden their horizons & not be so close-minded, but at the same time I understand where some of these people are coming from. Granted, this doesn’t account for everyone & I got nothing for those ppl.

    1. MadScientist7

      i think that’s a cop out though. i was ridiculed about my complexion growing up. matter of fact i still get ridiculed about my complexion from time to time. it never fazed my standard of beauty. my mom is light to brown skinned depending on the time of year you catch her. my sister is darker than me. i think both are beautiful. i just don’t get it.

  4. Dr. J

    I think Tiny lets TI do whatever he wants to do and she’s probably bi too. I looked at T-Pain wife and I couldn’t figure it out either until I found out that they have an open relationship and she goes both ways, while being next to him. I always thought Tiny looked like a hamcupine (hamster + porcupine mix).

    You’re right fine is fine. And beauty is beauty. Funny thing is this, a lot of all this goes back to Frontin’ video like i’ve said in previous posts. When that video came out people lauded Pharrell and Jay for having such a beautiful dark skin girl in the video. And I was like, I don’t see what the big deal is. Haven’t we seen that before? She’s tough, but who is that light skin girl? People thought I was skipping over the dark skin girl for her, no I was just saying, in addition to the fact that we’ve put all our attention on this one girl, we’ve neglected the light skin one in the back. Turns out that was Lauren London. Why we gotta choose man? Why can’t we admire both.

    I thought about this when I saw the picture, but have you noticed that if you think a brown or dark skin girl is cute and people think she got light or exotic eyes they tend to take away from it? Like Naomi Campbell, or that girl from the So Into You video? I thought about that when I saw the pic of Vilayna today.

    1. MadScientist7

      hamcupine though? *dead*

      yeah i do notice that about women with light eyes. i guess its because of the stark contrast. now i’m bout to go watch that frontin’ video on youtube.

    2. MelaninEnriched

      Dr J, I just want to respond to the Frontin’ video comment. Yeah, we have a seen a dark-skinned girl as a lead, but not that often. There are dark-skinned girls in videos, but they’re not usually the lead or they’re the jump-off while the light-skinned girl or racially ambiguous girl is the main girl getting the “attention/gifts/love”, etc. So, if you said something to the effect of “oh that dark-skinned girl is cute, but what about the light-skinned girl?”, I can see how that was inflammatory. We see light-skinned girls in the majority of the videos, so when that video was praised, it’s because dark-skinned women as the lead is not the norm. I mean, we’ve seen extremely beautiful people get with very unattractive people too (e.g. Janet Jackson & Jermaine Dupri), but that’s not the norm.

      I don’t read the blog anymore but I’ve read your posts before and if you tackled the subject, then I’m sure you were skewered.

  5. Euphoric Ears

    Like Nia said, ugly is ugly…pretty is pretty. Bottomline. Beauty and ugliness goes beyond skin color, weight, or height for that matter. Its sad that it’s 2011 and darkness is still associated with being less than or automatically ugly.

    1. Dr. J

      Excuse my friend, my friend is ignorant. But yesterday while I was telling him how disappointed I was he said something so profound:

      “You can’t do nothing about these b*tches with no self-esteem.”

      I ain’t realize how true that was. It was ignorant and intellectual at the same time, I want to blog about it but I’m going to leave it alone for now. I ain’t been skunked but they thrown a lot of tomatoes at me.

      1. MadScientist7

        son the reason you got ethered (or they attempted to) yesterday is because i think the women who read sbm have put you in a box. they already judge you on certain topics without internalizing what you’re actually trying to say. i bet a lot of women really just skimmed the post yesterday and came up with their own conclusions.

        see the thing i’m willing to be your friend has low self esteem himself. just a stab in the dark.

      2. Dr. J

        I feel you. I feel like my friend made a good point. Maybe poor word selection, but you know that’s how it is sometimes. I think the takeaway is that you know, you got to feel attacked to defend yourself, then you got something to defend to fight for it. So all that to say, if something strikes people the wrong way or they see a part of themselves in it, they gonna trip.

        I’m in that box though. Nothing I can do about that, hopefully people read, and if they don’t, well then they don’t.

  6. MilanRouge

    Hey fave, great post! I read that other blog from time to time when I get to it but I rarely read the comments section just because I believe people are generally ignorant especially on blog site comment sections. I don’t have time to *side-eye* that much. But THAT comment…uggh. Was probably one of the MOST ignorant I’ve “seen” just based on the fact that this person probably thought they said something extremely profound. LOL. I’m glad you broke it down…attractiveness, beauty, physical appeal has nothing (to me) to do with skin hue. And the two comparisons you made are spot on. Preferences are one thing but don’t be a complete blinded idiot. I used to prefer dark chocolate men, and I’m grateful I never let that “blind me” to the point I didn’t give men of other hues a chance. The guy I adore is a complete “light bright” lol. If you’re attractive you’re attractive. Period. The end. People need to grow UP.

    1. MadScientist7

      really? a husband (or boyfriend. what are they?) who can’t stay out of jail or stay faithful to her is the life many people dream of? money isn’t everything. trust that. and i’m sure she has a sparkling personality. o_0

    2. gemmieboo

      nope. sorry. being a “baby mama” longer than being a “wife” to a man whose criminal involvement got them both arrested is NOT my dream. id rather keep my underwhelming grad student stipend than to have Tiny’s money and the problems and face.that comes with it.

  7. MelaninEnriched

    To address this post, unfortunately, in the black community that is an ongoing thing that I don’t ever see ending, to be honest. It’s been here since slavery and we (as a community) continue to perpetuate it over and over again. I don’t watch videos anymore, but when I did, it was quite evident who was desired. I’m a brown-dark skinned girl, depending on the season and I’ve seen it quite a bit. I’ve never gotten picked on based on my skin color, but my cousin who is has gotten picked on mercilessly as a child and she’s beautiful.

    The thing is, at this point, if you’re a dark-skinned woman, then you have to have thick skin and great self-esteem. It’s sad that it’s the black community who promotes this more than the ones who actually used it against us. We (as a community) internalized it and then cannibalized our own community with it, the same as with the good hair vs. bad hair argument. I have more to say, but I’m done for now.

    It’s a sad thing for our community, but it is what it is. And I think it’ll get worse before getting better. Actually, it’s interesting to me that although we’re talking about light vs. dark, that’s almost becoming a non-issue. There is now more of a desire for racially ambiguous women (or exotic) than dark or light-skinned women period, so I think in the near future instead of the light or dark skinned debate, it’ll be the black or non-black debate.

    1. MadScientist7

      “We (as a community) internalized it and then cannibalized our own community with it, the same as with the good hair vs. bad hair argument.”

      this is so true. i wish more people understood this. alas we don’t so we’re at where we are now.

  8. gemmieboo

    great post!!!! so on point. please let your brethren (and sistren) know!!

    i cant tell you how many times ive side-eyed and told ppl to SYAD/STFU when they make stupid comments about beauty and skin color.

    i think ppl often times are surprised when i call them on making such ridiculous comments (such as “she’s pretty. FOR a dark skinned girl”) because im not dark skinned. as if my skin tone (or gender, or ethnicity or whatever) prevents me from being offended on behalf of other humans. FOH.


  9. Lioness Rising

    Great Post.

    I think its sad that people let ignorance blind them from enjoying beauty. I’m medium toned and the women who I have had the strongest admiration/ “girl crush” on are dark skinned women. I have a friend whose skin is dark and super smooth, and when she wears bright colors I think she looks stunning and her skin is part of that. She gets admirers but the fact that men will still pass her up for someone with rough, paler skin baffles me.

    On the other hand I never understood why dark skin on men is seen as a prize for black women. It supports the theory the black skin has been masculinized and light skin has been feminized.

  10. Arniesâ

    Great blog! Crazy thing is I received a call from a friend who is an NBA agent. His soon to be client; asked about me introducing him to a young lady. As he is coming into a substantial amount of money, he wants to filter who he is dealing with. Which I get as I’ve dated a professional athelete. But his said, ” please only introduce me to “red bones”. I just sighed and asked Why? He said, well, I know its cute dark skin women but its a different type of woman you have to have playing pro ball.

    I was DONE! Especially being a darkskin, beautiful woman. Its just sad! I didn’t feel like a lecture but I did introduce him to one.*sigh* its on them.

    I just get my cut! But this is a sad reality.

  11. berriblk

    I am dark…not Nia Long but Viola Davis dark. I learned very quickly that my beauty wouldn’t be accepted…a better term would be ‘discovered’ by most at first glance. I’ve seen my fair share of not so attractive women who happened to be fairer skinned on the arm of or coveted by many men.

    Is it me or is the “long-haired red-bone” on the verge of becoming a cliche, if it hasn’t already. I witnessed a white guy (wigger) talking about how he has some “fine a** red bone etc etc” and I thought to myself…”really??”. Now, I understand color preferences and for the most part I think they are based on difference. The contrast of one skin tone on another; the beauty you don’t see everyday in your environment…difference. With that being said, when I heard that Caucasian male brag (he was definitely bragging) about the red bone he had that’s when I knew this was getting a bit cliche.

  12. divinepearlz

    Kudos to you for speaking on this. Skin color doesn’t make pretty/cute/handsome. I have seen some gorgeous folks who are darker than I don’t know what. Folks have some serious color complexes. It’s really sad when you think about it.

  13. JSin

    This is a GREAT post. I never really understood why some people place so much importance on skin color. It’s only one element of a person. There is so much more that a person can provide and that makes a person beautiful outside of the color of their skin.

    I can understand where you’re coming from. Light color skin does not mean a person is more attractive. I’m glad you spoke on this topic.

    I don’t know if you would be interested, but it would be cool to have you as a guest on my podcast. Let me know if you would down.

  14. FinegIRL

    Great post. But I am surprised no one caught the equation of women to objects. Dark skinned women are not collectible items.

    By responding to the individual without pointing out this in his text, is an example of why it will take centuries for men to ACTUALLY respect women.

    See the text…..baseball cards, cars…wow…and no one saw this discrepancy.


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