I pride myself on being a people watcher.
I’ve been living in New York for about 9 days now and I’ve been observed a whole lot in terms of men and women and how they interact with each other. Before coming here the most aggressive I’ve seen men in trying to get a woman’s attention had to be in New Orleans. I thought they were super agressive but they have nothing on dudes from New York. Rude and creepy is an understatement.
I’ve seen cat calls, following women, grabbing arms, staring, you name it and it’s been done. All I can do is shake my head at this type of behavior. Today a friend of mine came to my house. She had to walk about 4 blocks from the train station to get to my apartment building. As we made our way back to the station I noticed a guy on the corner staring us down. As we passed my friend said: “Funny, how he can’t speak now. When I was on the way to your apartment he was all like “Baby, where you going? I can take care of you…” Now he’s quiet.” All I could do was laugh.
Not all men and especially not the men reading this (y’all know better) need this advice but a lot do.
*Let me say I’m not an expert when approaching women because I hardly ever do it myself. Especially not on a public street.*
The number one rule. Be respectful.
Saying “pssssttt” or “hey ma” or “hey light skin” is usually not going to garner any type of reaction that you might like from her. Best case scenario she’ll ignore you. Either way if you were really interested that’s not the response you were going for.
If she’s in the middle of a conversation with someone (in person or on the phone) then interrupting her conversation isn’t the best course of action either. You can either wait till she gets off the phone or cut your losses.
Touching her is not cool. Ever. Matter of fact don’t even invade her personal space. 3 feet minimum. She doesn’t know you. Remember that. Besides you wouldn’t want someone touching your mom, sister, cousin, etc.
If a woman isn’t feeling you’re advances then there is no need to follow her. If she says she has a boyfriend. Wish her luck and tell her that her boyfriend is a lucky man. She might not have one but that’s not for you try to figure out. Just let it go.
Oh and women. Can’t forget y’all.
If a man approaches you respectfully there’s nothing wrong with flashing a smile or saying “No, thank you” and keep it moving. No harm, no foul. If you’re not feeling him then that’s all you have to do. I understand that there are men out there that don’t know how to take no for an answer but we’re not talking about them right now. We’re talking about men who come correct.