1 1/2 More Girlfriends

Last week  Slim Jackson invited me to happy hour at Bowlmor Lanes. While sipping my favorite whiskeys (Jack and Jameson) with great company the topic of marriage came up. Mr. Spradley and his wife were there and I don’t know how the group’s discussion turned to marriage. I think I was kind of caught up with Megatron beasting on Chicago’s defense. What caught my attention was when Mr. Spradley said “Now Tunde? He’s almost there. He has like 1 1/2 girlfriends till he gets married.”

I found this quite amusing because here Mr. Spradley was telling me that in about a years time I would either be married or engaged to be married. At present date I don’t even have a girlfriend. I honestly wondered what he saw that I didn’t. His timeline of my steps towards Holy matrimony are as follows. Since its cuffing season I’m probably going to pick up a free agent this winter. I need at least one full summer in New York under my belt. During this summer I’m going to find a woman that I’m going to really like (if I haven’t found her already) and that’s going to be it for me. Of course when asked when Slim was getting married, Mr. Spradley said that he really couldn’t read him because of his poker face.

I’ve done a couple of posts recently in regards to marriage. If you haven’t read them you can see them here and here. I can’t lie. It has been on my mind lately so to hear Mr. Spradley say this was ironic. I respect his opinion but I have to wholeheartedly disagree. There are a multitude of reasons why I won’t be getting married or engaged within the next year. I’ll discuss the ones I feel are most important.

I don’t think I’m financially ready to support a family

I know there are plenty of people who made families work with less than what I have now but those people aren’t me. Growing up I told myself that my children wouldn’t have to experience some (if not all) of the hardships that I experienced. I want my wife to not have to work (if she so chose). I want to know that my family will be taken care of.

I need to be sure

Combined my parents have gone through 3 divorces. I plan on getting married once. God forbid if I ever get divorced I  probably won’t remarry. I want to be as close to 100% positive that the woman I marry is the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. Assuming that I haven’t met my future wife yet that gives me only about year. I don’t think that is enough time know if I want to spend my life with a woman.

I think that’s about it. I tried thinking of other reasons but thats all I could come up with. These are two big reasons though.


22 thoughts on “1 1/2 More Girlfriends

  1. nowsayitwithme

    *cough* more marriage talk? Hate to say I knew it so I won’t say it. But Most might be up to something and then again he could be really off. I understand your 2 reasons and can definitely respect them. It’s been the most important/significant reasons I’ve seen and/or heard. Seems like guys have cemented their foot down when it comes to being able to provide for their future wives-to-be and kids-to-have. I also believe in being married once and once ONLY. We (future “he” and I) will work shit out. Eff all that “divorce” shit because it’s German to me. I can’t even begin to say how against it I am.

    Nice read/update nshit 🙂

  2. nianaturally

    Now presenting, Mr. Spradley as the Marriage Whisperer. lol.

    Though, I say the 1 1/2 is a good predictor. It may not happen in that exact time line, but you probably won’t be in more than 2 relationships before marriage. I think that’s true for most marriage-minded men over 25. You’re selective about the women you deal with, which mean there’s a greater chance she will have the qualities you’re looking for in your future wife. So, I kinda agree with the Sprads-miester. I think its a quick time line, but it will be within 2 women. lol.

      1. chunk

        Yeah I was thinking… he said 1.5 girlfriends… not a year, lol. You could have a semi-gurl for the next six months to a year, then the next one might be the one, lol. Tunde you know what? I kinda agree with this… because your mind is already there.

  3. Lioness Rising

    …the fact that you could only come up with two reasons..

    I agree that the number seems right but the timeline is off. Every New York man needs a proper NYC summer, as does every women. But I think two years is a good amount of time to date before marriage…1 year seems too soon

  4. O

    #1 and #2 are stellar points. what are the chances that when #1 and #2 are fulfilled #3 may move up to #1 and on and on…? that shnitz happens sometimes. so one year may really be grass.. now who’s going to smoke it?

  5. Lady Ngo

    How Nigerian do u sound?!? lol

    Those are great points though but then again, you never know what will happen. Thats all I can say about that.

    As for the 1 1/2 more girlfriends thing…well a year is pretty short time period to squeeze in 1 1/2 girlfriends plus an engagement ring lol. Like others have said, the numbers might be right, but the timeline definitely isn’t (or vice versa)

  6. African Mami

    Don’t talk about it anymore be about it. Next marriage post should be about her!

    If you are IGBO, I’m eligible.

  7. Muze

    could’ve sworn i commented on this. but anyhoo…

    i think the Most. is right. 1.5 gfs seems fair for a man whose mind is already on marriage…kinda. lol

    i’m interested to see what a NY summer is too. i don’t get what’s so life-changing about it. lol. everyone told me i missed out this year. ah well.

  8. Up4Dsn

    I can relate. Marriage is one of the furthest things from my mind. I know for a fact that I’m not ready. Plus, I would never rush into marriage nor get married just for the sake of it. I want to know that the woman is the right one…and that’s going to take some time. I’m not in a rush. So if it happens…it happens. If not…I’m perfectly fine with that.

  9. Camille Anderson

    Great post! I just want to comment on your statement “I don’t think I’m financially ready to support a family”. Not sure of the specefics of your upbringing or your spirituality, but it’s very sweet and noble that you want your wife to not have to work. Let your FAITH rule not your Finances. God will provide. Peace & blessings!

    Camille 🙂

  10. A Woman's Eyes

    Ummm I think Mr. Spradley is right too. A NY summer must be fantastic! All I remember of NY summers (as a visitor of the god-child) is that miserable baked to-and-from-the-concrete heat.

    I think it will be 2 years though, and a woman younger than you given what you want out of marriage.

    Many women are discovering that conceiving children is very difficult when they get to the mid-30s. I can see you with a woman younger than you, intelligent and loyal to the man she partners with.

    Yes, 2 years if that is what God has for you.

  11. DreamCatcher

    Hey Mad, I got the same prediction recently. A friend of mine is giving me Bride magazines and thinks I could meet and fall in love with someone, all soon enough to be engaged by next year. The only thing I could do was laugh because I don’t even know 1 guy I like. Not even 1! I guess we’ll see what happens 🙂


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