Where is this going?

“I don’t understand what the big deal is with a title.”

It seemed like it was the same song being played over and over. The only thing that was different was the woman who was uttering those words to me. It would always start the same. I would meet a woman whom I really liked and enjoyed spending time with. She would enjoy spending time with me as well. Then the inevitable would occur.

“Where do you see this going?”

Those six words used to cause me so much angst and panic. My mind would immediately race to figure out the best way to avoid what I knew she wanted. I knew that she liked me and I knew that she knew that I liked her too but I still did all the things that would make her think I was interested in taking things to the next level. Dates? I like your company so why not? Sleepovers? Sure thing. Great sex? Why the hell wouldn’t I?

Then I was shocked when she wanted something concrete. Who doesn’t like more of a good thing? I should have been elated. Those were quality women. I don’t think I was ready. No, I know for a fact I wasn’t ready to be in a relationship.  So why did I enter into these pseudo-relationships knowing that I had no intention of pursuing things further?


At the end of the day I’m a man who loves the presence of a woman. Even if that presence is temporary and fleeting I still enjoy the time I do get to spend with her. I took it for what it was and if she didn’t like the way it was then that was something that she had to deal with.

“I told you in the beginning that I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend.”

Yes, technically I could say that I never lied but I also knew that eventually these women would want more because I decided to conveniently miss the subtle signs that their emotions were growing stronger and stronger towards me.  When backed into a corner I’d flip the script by acting like she tried to spring something on me that we both hadn’t agreed to in the first place. Not some of my finer moments and I have my reasons (which I may delve into later) but something happened.

Forty-one days.

That’s the exact time from which I met my significant other till the time I asked her to be my girlfriend (technically we knew each other for almost two years through mutual friends but that was the time from which I physically knew her).

What exactly made her different than the others?

I don’t want to come right out and say that she’s better than them. Well actually I am saying that. She’s a better person for me. We clicked. We vibed. She’s not perfect but she’s perfect for me (corny but IDC). It didn’t take me long to realize that I wanted to give her a title. I didn’t have to be prodded and questioned.

It had a lot to do with me as well.  I knew what I wanted. I wasn’t afraid of how it would make me look. I went with what felt right. I realized that telling a woman “titles makes things complicated” is just a copout. Sometimes complicated is good as long as you’re complicated together. I realized that if you have a good woman and you’re not worried about all the other stuff, you won’t have those feelings of anxiety at the thought of something as simple as a title.

Essentially I grew the fuck up.


12 thoughts on “Where is this going?

  1. L Boogie


    As they say, timing is everything…being in the right space at the right time with the right mentality makes all of the difference…

    This was awesome. 🙂

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      yep. timing is absolutely everything. don’t know how it would have worked out with a different person at the same time or the same person at a different time.

  2. Brooke

    Growing up is a wonderful thing. I wish others would do the same. I always say that actions speak louder than words. Such a simple thing, but we all have a problem remembering this. If you tell someone in the beginning what you think you want and then throughout the relationship decide to do what your genitals want, you’ll have to expect that the dynamics are going to change.

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      i’m not going to go as far as saying that i wish others would. people move at their own pace and realize things about them in the time God intended them to. also, while its true that actions speak louder than words that is not always the case.

  3. gemmieboo

    isn’t it crazy how easy it is to make up your mind when you’re with the RIGHT person?? to feel so confident and certain about a person is so… liberating and heart-warming, i think.

    great post 🙂

  4. Muze

    Awl this love going around the blogosphere… i love it. lol

    i think when it’s right you kind of just know it. there’s no need to hesitate or be uncertain because you just sort of … know.

    and i’ll just put it out there that i totally called this. pow. lol


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