Since some of the allure of Lupe’s Bitch Bad song/video has worn off I figure now would be a good time to talk about my point of view. I can’t and will not speak or judge what other people call themselves or their friends, significant other or friends. What I can speak on are my personal feelings and opinions on the subject of calling a woman bitch. It probably comes as no surprise to you that I don’t like it. Not in the least.
My dictionary.com app defines a bitch as
- A female dog.
- A female of canines generally.
- A malicious, unpleasant, selfish person, especially a woman.
- A lewd woman
- A complaint
- Anything difficult or unpleasant
- (v) To complain or gripe.
None of these definitions are positive. I’m north of 30 years old and growing up I can remember when calling someone (man or woman) a bitch was serious. It was an insult. You don’t call a woman a bitch unless you’re ready to verbally spar with them or it may have turned physical. That’s how I was brought up. I don’t know exactly when some women became ok with being called a bitch. I don’t care if it’s prefixed with the word “bad”. I hear a lot of reasons why women are accepting of being called a bitch is that they internalized the word and turned it into something positive. I called bullshit.
A lot of black people have internalized the word nigga and tried to turn it into something positive but I cringe whenever I’m referred to as one. I don’t like to be called one by anyone. It bothers me when black men call me that and it stings a little bit more when black women call me that and white people better be glad that I care more about my freedom than being called a nigger (the two that have had the gall to call me one to my face). Just because you internalize something it doesn’t always mean that it turns into something positive.
I would never call a woman whom is the object of my desires a bitch. There are so many words in the English language. I’m sure that my vocabulary is expansive enough that when I want to address my woman with words of adoration and affection the word bitch isn’t the first one that comes to mind. I’m not saying that people who do have limited lexicon just the majority of them.
I understand that the meaning of words can change over time but I just don’t see this as one of those times. If it were the case with the word bitch then it wouldn’t have to be prefaced with the word bad. You wouldn’t have to distinguish between a “bad” bitch and a regular bitch. I’m guessing if any woman reading this now were called the latter she wouldn’t receive those words very kindly.
My charge to the women reading this is to stop accepting mediocre, half-assed, backhanded compliments. If you really believe you are that awe-inspiring and wonderful then demands more. Men will do only what is required and believe it or not that includes compliments. Men, if you really think that women is stunning and beautiful then find other ways to tell her. Don’t be lazy. So what if a rapper calls some video chick a bad bitch? He also talks about moving snow off the curb like he’s shoveling snow but I don’t see you posted on block moving WMDs. Tell that woman she’s sexy, gorgeous and exquisite and you think the world of her. Trust me, she’ll appreciate it more than being called a bad bitch and if she’d rather be called a bitch then do you really want her?