How I became a jaded man (IV)

Part I, Part II, Part III

After we got back together things were going strong for a good four months before we began to hit a couple rough patches. I can’t remember exactly what caused this particular argument but we were mad at each other for a couple days. The fact that I can’t remember what we were arguing about let’s you how trivial it was. I remember on a Friday evening I was having work done on my car and I called Stacey to see what she was up to. I ended up getting her voicemail and I left a message letting her know it was silly to be arguing and I would like to take her out to dinner.

I got a call back about two hours later and she sounded pretty dry.

“Yeah I left town to visit my friend from college for the weekend.”

“So you’re just gonna leave town and not let me know that you were going?”

“I didn’t see the point.”

“Oh. So where are you? I’m in North Carolina.”

“So, is this friend from college you’re visiting a man or a woman?”

“Tunde, I went to Spelman.” (Sidebar: FYI, I’ve coincidentally dated quite a few women who’ve attended Spelman including my current girlfriend. One of my best friends also went there for undergrad as well.)

“Don’t try to play me. I know how it is with Spelman and Morehouse.”

“Tunde, I went to Spelman.”


***Backtrack a few months***

My ex-girlfriend before her sent me an email that was entitled ‘Crush Calculator’. It asked you to input the first and last names of your top 3 crushes and it would calculate the odds you would have of hooking up with each of them. Only when you did that it said it was a joke and the 3 names would be sent to the person who sent you the email. It didn’t work on me because when I got the email I could only think of Stacey and I left the rest of the names blank. I still thought it was funny so I forwarded the email to a bunch of my friends. The response I got back from Stacey was jarring to say the least.

“Stacey’s 3 crushes:

  1. Tunde A_______________
  2. Bradley C______________
  3. James T_____”

Imagine my shock as I tried to piece together exactly who these guys were. When I confronted her on the response she said: “Those are just guys I have crushes on, you don’t have to worry about them because they aren’t accessible.” If I had the knowledge back then that I do now I would have pressed the issue more but I was too naïve and too trustworthy.

****Fast-forward a few months after Stacey’s trip to see her college friend. ****

One Sunday morning I was at her house and we decided to go to the grocery store to pick up some groceries to make breakfast. I put the groceries in her backseat but I noticed that some of the milk had leaked through the bag onto her leather seats. As we pulled up to her house she stopped her car in front of her house she let her window down to grab her mail from her mailbox. As we pulled up to the side of her house and was waiting for the garage door to open she looked through her mail and she let out a sly laugh that caused to notice but I didn’t’ say anything.

As we were putting the groceries away I grabbed a couple of paper towels to clean up the mess on Stacey’s backseat. On the counter she had placed her mail. On top of the pile was a birthday card envelope (I assumed it was a birthday card because her birthday was about a week away). The return address was from Charlotte and name was Bradley C. I have a very sharp memory and it immediately clicked in my head that this was the college friend that she went to see a couple months back.

After I cleaned up the mess in her car I asked,

“So Stacey, remember that college friend you went to see a couple months ago? Was that a guy or a girl again?”

Without missing a beat, “Oh yeah that was a guy.”

“So you lied to me? “

“No. I said it was a college friend. I never said it was a guy.”

At this point I felt like she really thought I would believe anything that came out of her mouth.

“So when you went where did you sleep?”

“In his bed.”

So now I know she has a crush on this dude, she flew from out of town to see him and she slept in the same bed with him. I know if I had those three circumstances in my favor with a very attractive woman with a body to kill for, its code X and I’m hitting it all weekend.

Looking back at our relationship I can say that was point in our relationship where I stopped giving a fuck. I had never cheated on my girl until that point. We had been through our ups and downs but I believed she was the woman for me and I honestly thought that she was the woman that I would marry. A lot of people (including Patricia) had met their life partner at Meharry and why not? 95% of the students there were black future doctors. Put that many attractive, intelligent black people in one atmosphere and its bound to happen.

To be continued…


19 thoughts on “How I became a jaded man (IV)

  1. keishabrown

    *sees empty popcorn bowl…
    I would love to know where she is now and if she regrets her actions.
    Curious to know if she’s tried to boomerang herself via social networks….
    *goes back to bed

  2. Lioness Rising

    “Those are just guys I have crushes on, you don’t have to worry about them because they aren’t accessible.”
    So basically she is saying “I would love the phuck these dudes but the only reason I’m not going to cheat on you is I can’t get to their house, but let them be in town and its on” BOLD

    “In his bed”

  3. EvolvingElle

    I would put you in time out for these drawn out parts but then you wouldn’t be able to finish. -_-

    Just so I can be prepared, how many more parts are there? The suspense is worse than waiting for a new episode of “Scandal”.

  4. Veronica

    Ugh!! This ish rite hurrr sucka…. Lol this that tihs I don’t like! Geezumz! ! Anyway- tell Patricia I said “hey girl heeyyyy” and tell her after all these years I haven’t given up hope, I’m just stalling my attempts til my “boyfriend” is ready… Lol m’kay bye!!!

  5. angelzingodwetrust

    You know this segment reminds me of something I did when I was in college to my now ex husband. You probably wont believe this either….. but I slept in his bed, he’s still just my friend, and NOTHING happened!!! It’s possible that people of the opposite sex can just be friends. Especially when both parties involved are young and naive. Now fast forward several years later Im sure that innocene wouldn’t still be there btwn my friend and I bc we’re older and knows what that would imply…. but back then (in college years) we were just hanging out under the same roof like you would in a college dorm. Nothing more, nothing less. Again, try that with 30 something’s and it would be some smoke in the city! LOL

    1. madscientist7 Post author

      “It’s possible that people of the opposite sex can just be friends.”

      i would maybe believe this is we were in undergrad and 17-18 years old. we were 23-24 at this point and there’s no way she could convince me that nothing happened. especially after i knew she liked him.

      1. angelzingodwetrust

        Hey! I just turned 21 and was about graduate and he was 26 and doing his PHD! It’s possible! The specs: both attractive, educated, one of us always in a relationship, lived in different states at dating ages, and known ec other since we were young. Like I said before…if we tried something like that in or ages now that we’ve settled it probably wouldn’t work. But it was totally possible then! Think about the mind sets of people and whatever is happening around the time….things don’t always lead to sex! Sometimes you just run away to relax, relate, and release to someone you know who isn’t engulfed around the situation or people you’re running from. That’s my 2 cents man. LOL Happy Friday!

      2. madscientist7 Post author

        sorry maybe that could have happened with y’all but i’m realistic and live on this planet. i’m not a betting man but i would wager that something happened between them.

      1. angelzingodwetrust

        Lol omg smh blank stare (blinking after literally a minute) you are not going to just negate my argument & do a TRUTH at the same damn time! (Flicks nose like a boxer) you know what?! Put em up! We’re fighting! Lol but seriously yeah all just in the mind set & what’s going on at the “time of opportunity.” Have a good weekend ya’ll lol

  6. spottieottiedarlin

    What boggles me about Stacey is she didn’t really go out of her way to hide any of her dirt. I think being careless when you cheat is more offensive than trying hard to cover your tracks.

    looking forward to part v.

  7. Pingback: How I became a jaded man (V) « The Native Son

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