Recently a friend of mine made an acute observation about me. I don’t like for people to be upset with me and I also like to please people. I hadn’t really thought that of myself but the more and more I pondered the more I found it to be true. The interesting thing is I used to have a completely opposite disposition towards others and what they thought about me.
When I was a freshman in college I had seven friends. Everyone else was either an acquaintance or I just plain didn’t like. The only reason I had that many friends was because four of them went to high school with me and we all stayed on the same floor in our freshman dorm.
I walked around campus with a permanent scowl on my face and I actually thought that I was better than a lot of other students on campus. I wondered how some students could skip class when they were paying for an education or why some students deemed it necessary to wear full makeup to breakfast at 7am. I was over most of the student body.
The fact that I was taller than most people didn’t help perceptions of me because I literally looked down my nose at people. When it came to my friends I grew closer and closer to them and I valued their opinions. During finals that year my friends and I were sitting around after dinner in café and my friend Joe brought to my attention that I wasn’t well liked on campus.
Joe: “You know you’re the only one out of our crew who walks around campus with an attitude?”
Me: “Yeah, so what?
Joe: “Well that makes the rest of us look bad because we hang with you and sometimes other people might not want to hang with us because we’re chilling with you.”
Up until that point I hadn’t really thought about how I’m perceived might affect my friends. I only thought about how I didn’t care about what people thought about me. I spent Christmas break that year pondering my image and the real reasons why it never mattered to me. I realized that instead of caring nothing about people think perhaps I should start caring what certain people think.
That Christmas break I made a New Year’s resolution to try to become an overall nicer person and have a better general disposition. I came back to school that next semester a changed person. I became more sociable and friendlier to those I encountered on campus. As I got to know more people I realized that I prejudged them and I found that I actually liked them.
Since then I’ve kept my New Year’s resolution and have tried to be nicer to people and to be kind even when people give me every reason not to be.
I slowly became a different person. I became less standoffish, rude and unapproachable and more amicable. I realized that it’s ok to care what people think about me, it’s ok to not want to get on people’s bad side.
I’m not that invested into astrology but I do follow it superficially. Being a Libra some of my traits include being diplomatic, peaceful and hospitable. I’d be lying if I said that those qualities don’t fit me and I don’t embrace them.
I don’t like for most people to be upset with me. I don’t like letting people down. I’m not a people pleaser but I do like to please the right people.