Last week I wrote a post entitled No Strings Relationships where I discussed how these types of relationships can’t work in the long run if both parties involved are actually “good” people. One of my readers left a comment saying:
…As men we tend to be territorial in general and tend to feel a way when we find another hand in our cookie jar, but if one can handle that concept and govern themselves accordingly then the NSA can work if thats what one wants…
My response to him was:
…a dude will claim he doesn’t give two shits about a chick but let him find out she’s fucking another dude and he’s salty. it doesn’t matter if he’s fucking like 4 other chicks. lol we are indeed interesting creatures…
Today I want to discuss the male psyche when it comes to being territorial. Men are human. We can have sex only for the sake of sex, but many of us also get emotionally attached. There is this credence that men are being void of emotions or at least to the level of women. In actuality men can be and are just as emotional as women and if jealousy isn’t an emotion then I don’t know what is. Jealousy is where being territorial stems from.
Just like dogs a man marks his territory. You see, dogs gather essential social information using their sense of smell. Marking serves as a way to claim territory, advertise mating availability and to support the social order. Dogs like hierarchy; it’s what they understand. Its exactly the same with men. Men simply don’t like dogs sniffing around their territory and if they do the other dog needs to understand the hierarchy.
The Male Ego
The fact that we are considered “territorial” creatures may be just the tip of the iceberg where our romantic relationships are concerned. Some of us consider betrayal by women who we are emotionally attached to as a deal breaker [Not me though. It depends on the level of our relationship]. As the “providers” in society, it can be especially damaging when our woman seeks that kind of comfort outside of the relationship. So as visual creatures, the image that we replay in our minds of our lovers possibly being with other men is not something we even want to think about.
I want to dispel any myths on this subject and state that men are not the only ones that become territorial. Women also become territorial for the same reasons we do. Think about women who conveniently leave their lip gloss, makeup or panties over a man’s house. Men and women both may experience insecurity, become possessive of our mates, and flip out every time we observe our mates pay attention to someone else. It takes a very, very long time for hardwired behavioral patterns to change by natural selection. I say that to say that sometimes its really not something that we can control.
Are you territorial? Have you ever been with someone who was territorial? Do you find it flattering or a complete turnoff? Who do you think is more territorial, men or women?